Praise and more prayers

Today was our appt to find out the results of Sallie's chromosome testing. I went while A kept the girls. I had not thought anything about going by myself until I got in the waiting room and had a minute to stop. I sat down and I was the only person in the waiting room and I began to panic. I mean really panic! I have only had 1 panic attack in my life and that was when my sister had a seizure in a store and we had 3 of our kids with us and well I panicked. So today my heart began to race and I was short of breath. It was not a major panic attack at all but I knew I had to get a grip or it was not going to be good. It was really strange. I went from fine to freaking out in a matter of minutes. All I could think was what if they tell me she has something fatal and I am here alone. At the point I realized that I was about to be sick over this I began to pray, "Lord, calm me down and whatever I find out I know you will guide me through this." I did begin to calm down and once she called me back I was good. All of her chromosomes are perfectly normal. She explained to me that when she was born the testing they did was to determine that the number of each chromosome and that there were not too many of a particular one, etc. The testing that she had them do (which was not available 7 years ago) looks at all the chromosomes and their patterns. If there is a deletion or anything abnormal about their patterns this test will indicate that which can indicate problems. The test showed that she has perfectly normal chromosomes. So, what does this mean? We still do not have a name for this and that is fine with us. We do want all the info possible so that we can do everything we can for her and so that throughout her life she knows all she can possibly know. The Dr suggested that she be seen by genetics once a year and at some point there might be additional testing that can be done. She feels that at some point in early development there was a glitch and one problem led to another. She told me that she could say with confidence that based on the chromosome testing Aaron and I or any of the other girls had no greater chance of having a child with birth defects than any other individual. She said she could not say that for Sallie because there could be some issue that would affect her offspring but that as far as chromosomes go, there are no problems that can be passed on. We do feel good about the results because even though it would be really great to know what happened or what we call this we know that things could be so much worse and we are thankful they are not. It reminds me that we do not have all the answers! She said based on her evaluation and the test results she did not see any reason that Sallie could not continue to develop and learn and thrive. I left her office and I was driving home and I was thinking back to my time of panic and the Lord said to me, "you were not alone!" I wasn't alone, I never am! God is so wonderful to place people in our lives to share the good times and the not so good but even when those people are not there, HE IS! He is calling me to lean more on Him. Then I got to thinking (you see I can think a lot when I am alone!) about how a simple blood test can show all of that information about chromosomes. How could anyone not believe in God? These things didn't just happen. Why do we doubt that He can do ANYTHING when we look at things like the details of our bodies and know that He made all that happen?

I really needed to be reminded of these things today. Sallie will be having surgery next Friday (12th). They will be doing some reconstructive surgery on one ear. The recovery should be about a week. Please pray for comfort for Sallie, that the Dr is able to accomplish what he attempts to do, that she is able to tolerate the anasthesia (she has always done OK but each time they have to put her to sleep gets more risky), that she tolerates the bandaging and cast type thing thing that will be on her ear, that she recovers quickly and it does not interfere with her being able to enjoy Christmas. The timing is not great but there is a good possibility that she will have to have more surgery after the first of the year and they need to space out the anasthesia so we are going forward with this surgery so that we can move on to something else. Honestly, I am not handling this well right now. The busyness of this time of year and the stress that I always feel leading up to surgery are weighing hard on me right now. I am trying to get as much as possible done before next Friday so that I can then focus on taking care of her without anything else hanging over me. I am tired, really tired right now with no relief in site. Stress and I do not mix well. I have to remember that I am not alone! HE is with me and HE can accomplish anything! Thank you for listening and for your prayers!