Productive?

I REALLY need to be blogging more often.  I forget so much when I get behind!  I would love to report that I have been extremely productive around here during my blog break BUT that is not the case.  I have been babysitting, going to FW (Dr’s appts of course-more on that soon!), taking girls to dance and soccer practice, etc…  I guess that is productive but I need to be more productive!

Last Saturday I finally did something I have been wanting to do for a while.  A couple of weeks ago I bought all the ingredients and they sat on my counter until Saturday and we finally “cooked” it up!

NOT your normal ingredients, huh???We mixed up a big batch of dishwasher detergent!  I did not get a picture of the final product but it made a huge container and because there are no fillers you only use a tablespoon per load and it seems to be cleaning well!  I have the receipt with the exact costs but the ingredients above were around $10 and I did not use nearly all the epsom salt or citric acid.  We will see how long it lasts but for sure it is much more economical.

AND next we made liquid laundry detergent.  It was a little more difficult to make but not hard at all.  There are recipes for powder detergent as well and I might try it next for comparison.  This appears to be going to last me for a while.  It made the 5 gallon bucket full and when I pour it into the container I use for dispensing I add 1/2 liquid and 1/2 water so it makes 10 gallons total.  The Fels-Naptha bar was .98, Borax was just over $3, Washing Soda was around $3 also.   I am anxious to see how long this lasts but no doubt once again that it is WAYYYYY cheaper!  The grated soap looked like grated velveeta!Finished product.  It actually gels after a while.  You can also add essential oils but we did not in this batch.  It just smells soapy as opposed to perfumy. 

SO, I guess I have been a little productive!!! 

AND because I know some grandparents who could care less about my soap and much more about their girls:

This was one of our 4 days with no tears!  Thank you Lord!  Yes, I said 4 days.  The past 3 days have been MANY tears again…

Posting pics of our girls IS PRODUCTIVE, right?!?

Catching Up in Every Way!

I feel like catching up is the theme of my life right now!  Well maybe that has been the theme for quite some time but it really feels like it now.  SO, since I am catching up in every way I will catch up on blogging! 

School update:  Elleigh, Sallie, and Lizzie are all still loving school.  I am thrilled about that.  I know there have been lots of prayers particularly for Sallie and we are very thankful for them and that this adjustment back to school has been great!  It has taken some time for her to localize sound especially at school since there is so much noise but that has been a lot better the past week.  She is doing really well in therapy as well.  It is exciting!!!  MILLIE, oh MILLIE…  I would LOVE to report that she is doing better about school BUT she is worse.  Last week was better.  She whined some but did not cry.  This week she began Sun. nt and has cried every night and morning since and I mean A LOT of crying.  This morning was the worst it has been.  She was crying and yelling “I want my mama” as A took her out the door to school.  It is about to wear me out!  I now am catching up from moping around thinking about my Mill Mill.  I am thankful that she does not cry at school.  She does not say but we assume she does not want them to see her cry because she stops each morning when they get to school.  I have asked questions to make sure nothing is going on at school but she says, “I just want to be with you”  I feel you sweet Mill!  Tues Morning she has gotten dressed and had not started crying yet and I walked into our bedroom and she was sitting on the bed and I said, “what are you doing Mill?”  Her reply, “Just sitting here being sad”  Then came the tears!  I admit, I laughed at that statement!

Bottom line she just wants to be at her house with her mama and her Build-a-Dog and her dump truck being silly!

This is just a random pic I had from a couple of weeks ago.  We love our Saturday mornings when we have nothing to do.  We relax some and cook and eat a late breakfast and just enjoy each other.  A cooks and the girls help so this is what our kitchen looks like most Saturday mornings.  Notice the cups:  Lizzie drinks hot tea and the rest of us coffee.  We only let them do this on Sat mornings and they think it is really special!  Note:  Ell sleeps until the breakfast is on the table!

SO SILLY!  I pray that one day she will enjoy school and be able to be herself there!  Of course, she has great behavior at school right now SO maybe she needs to stay a little more reserved!

Last week this sweet boy from our church occupied my time and thoughts!  I babysat him 3 days last week.  Sallie absolutely adores him so she would have been very upset to know he was at our house while she was in school!I had him on Fri and A was home with us some.  He loves Aaron and he was having a not so good day so I was glad A was home to hold him!  Not sure who liked it more, A or Remi! 

Last week we kicked off our Awana program for the yr.  It always feels great to get that first week done.  It went incredibly smooth.  Last nt was not as smooth but some weeks are just like that.  There is always a lot to do to get things started and kinks worked out in the beginning so I have been busy with that but we had a great group of kids and lots of new faces!  Praise God!

Friday nt on our way back from Wichita a cold front came through and this is a picture!  That is dust!  Most of the fields have been freshly plowed and you mix that with 50 mph winds and dry dirt and you get this!  We could barely see the road. 

And this is what the van and carport looked like the next morning!  No wonder we can’t breathe!

Sometimes when I am pulling pics for the blog I run across some that I have forgotten.  I have no idea when or who took this pic but I think it is sweet!  Sallie has a hard time when Millie cries about school.  It makes her cry…  All Mill’s big sisters are broken hearted over our baby crying. 

Lizzie and Millie started back to dance this week!  All I have heard since they took the first yr is when can we go back to dance.  Several of their friends took last yr in the next town and they all loved it so we decided to try it.  They both can be so shy and even though we have church they need something else to bring them out of their shell a little and give them confidence in a group.  They both LOVED it!  They are in the same class.  Lizzie could have gone into a higher class but this means I can take them together and there are several other girls Lizzie’s age in the class so it is good. 

Week 1 Complete

We made it!  We all survived week 1!  At times it felt like we were barely surviving but we did! 

These are just a few pics we took during the week. 

Millie packed her bunny in Aaron’s backpack that he takes back and forth to work each day.  She did this Monday night and told him we could share it during the day.  The little girls ready for school (and Millie is not crying-more on that…)The crew!  Mornings have actually gone much smoother than I thought.  I was thinking adding Millie into the morning mix of getting everyone out the door would be trying but so far our mornings have gone well for the most part.  Sallie is in love with this shirt she has on!  She was so excited to finally wear it!  Notice Lizzie’s pose and not sure what Mill is doing here.

So, how has everyone been this week?

Elleigh so far is loving school this year!  She has a tough schedule but she likes it and has done well getting back in the swing of things.

Sallie has not cried since the first day so that is great!  They tell me she is doing well during the day!  She has had a nasty cold this week so at times not felt so well but overall her transition back to school has been good!!!

Lizzie is not quite as excited about school as last yr.  She still loves it but I am not seeing the excitement I saw last yr.  I think it is partially because she is older and partially that today was her teacher’s first day so I am thinking that will help.  Don’t get me wrong, she is still loving school just not as giddy as last year! 

Millie is not so thrilled with school…  Her teacher says she does well at school and she is not crying when she gets to school but she cries every night and says she doesn’t want to go and wants to just stay with me.  Breaks my heart!  She is also an emotional wreck.  She is just not herself and she cries about everything (when with me).  To say it has been trying is an understatement!  I just keep thinking I hope we made the right decision about starting her.  She told me tonight that she hates school.  I really do not think she hates school.  I think she just prefers to be with me.  Hopefully we will have a turnaround soon.  She has already left her lunchbox at school, misplaced her backpack, attempted to leave home and get out of the car without her backpack and really could care less about any of it.  A says he doesn’t think that will ever change.  I think I agree.  That is just Millie and as much as I love that little girl, those characteristics drive me insane!  I am not the only one.  It highly frustrates Lizzie!  This is the link to her class blog and I love being able to see these pics.  Looks like she is good at school.  Now if we can get her good about it at home!   http://www.rozellkindergarten.blogspot.com/

I am adjusting.  I told A today that I really think it will be harder for me in a few weeks.  It still kinda feels like she has just gone somewhere temporarily!  I have stayed busy working on things at church.  Awana begins next week so that has kept me busy.  I do not mean to sound like I do not have enough here to keep me busy because I do but the other stuff keeps my mind off feeling lost without any of the girls.  Next week I am going to be doing some babysitting 3 days and first night of Awana Wed so I don’t think I will have too much time to think about my new life! 

Thankfully week 2 is a 4 day week!  We will see what it brings!

I greatly appreciate all of you who have prayed for our transition, called to check on us, sent texts, messages, etc.  It is always nice to know someone cares and takes time from their busy schedules to check on you! 

1st day of school 2012-2013

I posted our feelings on this day in last night's post so I will just say those feelings are magnified today!

We left 3 of the 4 girls crying and no, Elleigh did not cry! They were all very excited this morning as you can see in the pics. Sallie's teacher met us at the door and Sallie fell apart at that time. We then walked Lizzie to her room and when she got to the door she got upset because she didn't know what to do with her backpack. She is so much like me in that she wants to know exactly how you are supposed to do things and when she does not she gets in a twit! Also her teacher's daughter is having surgery today and will not be back until at least Thursday so she is starting her yr with a sub. I am sure once her teacher gets back they will all have to re- adjust. Millie was still doing great and as you will see in the pics stopped outside her door for A to taker her picture but the moment we walked inside that classroom and I told her bye it was all over (for both of us!). I wanted to stay and make sure they were all ok but I knew I couldn't. I feel quite sure Lizzie's tears were short lived. She loves school and hates to cry in public. Sallie probably did not cry long. I have a feeling Millie may cry off and on all day but she may surprise me. I hope she does! As much as I would love her to be with me I do want her to enjoy school. As for me, not sure when the crying will stop...

I am counting down the hours till pick up time!!!

These are not in order which drives me insane but here they are!

IT is HERE...

Tomorrow is the day. The day I send my last baby to school. Last year when Lizzie went to school and Millie was left with a huge void was quite an adjustment for us. I had never been home with just 1, Millie had never been without Lizzie, and we had to figure out what do with each other. We quickly got into a routine and had wonderful days together! It was such a sweet time that I am beyond thankful for. Did I dread sending each of our girls to school? Yes! Do I care for Millie more? No! But I am discovering it is more difficult to send the baby out the door. Mill and I have been together since day 1 and that one on one time I had with her makes it even more difficult. Also with the other girls there was still at least one more left! It may seem that I am further torturing myself by recording these thoughts but it is always good for me to go back and remember my feelings during seasons of my life and I want our girls to have these feelings in writing for later in life when they might appreciate them.

Millie is insistent that she does not want to go to school. Everyone knows this has been a major decision in our house because of her birthday. As much as I would LOVE to say forget it, we made the wrong decision to enroll her and keep her home another year I really feel like we have made the right decision. I am not saying that is the right decision for every child with a late birthday because I think it is different for each child and a decision for that family to make for their own child. So with all that went into making the decision and her insisting she is NOT going tomorrow I am attempting ( I said attempting) to be a big girl! I have a feeling my attempts will probably fail when I walk out of that building and leave my tiny, precious, baby girl tomorrow morning...

What do I do when I come home? I am really not sure? Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of cleaning and laundry and organizing and the list goes on! But I am at another crossroad in my life and I feel like this one is going to be a tough one. I realize my days of being mama are far from over ( and I am so glad). I realize now and in the coming years my girls will need me maybe more than ever. However, for 5 years that has been my job 24/7 and while it was one I thought I would never adjust to it was the best job I have ever had, not because it was easy but because it was what He called me to for this time in our lives. I do appreciate your prayers during this time of change.

Millie, I can't even begin to think about not having you to make me laugh all day! There is never a dull day when Mill is around. I know I will count the hours until I pick you and your sisters up from school each day and can't wait to hear about your days and all the fun things you learn. God gave me 5 years of being home with you each day and I am so glad He did! I hope that I have invested that time in you in a way that pleases Him. Your teacher asked on a form for me to describe you in 3 words and that was a hard job for mama. I chose fun, sensitive, and laid back because I thought those were the 3 that first come to mind and could help your teacher to learn more about your personality. It would take many more words than 3 to describe you sweet girl. I can not wait to see what God does with you! I love being your mama!

To not leave out the other girls, I dread to see the summer end and them go back to school as well. I know there are parents out there who have been counting down to tomorrow and I have those days too but I like my girls together and with me! Most of the time that is! Elleigh says she is ready. She is bet schedule and goal oriented so she loves that about school. However she hates the drama so well see how long the excitement lasts. Sallie is completely unpredictable so I will have to report back on that. The situation with her special Ed teacher worked out well and I feel great about the instruction she will be receiving! Praise God! With what she/ we have been through this summer it is not easy for me to let her go back. Lizzie is ready! She loves school and has such an excitement for learning!

Stay tuned for pics/stories/need for counseling for this mama!

A says he will be dragging them in tomorrow morning and me out! He knows us well!

Sallie Update

I never posted a pic of Sallie with her cochlear on.  Here it is!  Yes, it is bright.  Actually though, you do not see it like you do here.  Her hair covers it most of the time.  Not that I am trying to cover it.  We are proud of it!  It is just that the way her hair falls it covers it mostly.  Also her magnet is so much lower than most.  This is partly due to the area he went in to get the tissue he used inside the ear.  Placing it here prevented him from having to go too far from that incision.  She also has a white external unit but she never wants to wear the white.  You get two units so that if there is ever a problem with 1 they will have 1 to wear while the other is being repaired.  We chose white for our other one but she is not interested! 

Remember this?

2 Weeks later after being turned up these were her test results!  AMAZING!  NO ONE thought we would get here this quickly.  These results are within a normal hearing range with the exception of higher frequencies.  Our audiologist made some adjustments to hopefully get her hearing those frequencies better.  Also she said that because Sallie has never been able to hear those frequencies it will take longer for her to recognize and respond at those high frequencies.  We reached our maintenance plan within 1 month of being activated and this is very uncommon.  PRAISE GOD!!!  I can’t tell you how many of these same papers I have and to look at this one compared to all those is about more than I can handle!

This past Monday we headed back for more surgery.  He cleaned up from surgery on the right ear and on the left ear he made about an 1 inch incision behind her ear, more at the base of her head and took some fat which he placed inside that ear in an area that was collecting a lot of debris which eventually leads to the tumors.  He felt good about what he had done and we will just see what happens in that ear from here.  He said he would most likely have to go back in that ear in about 2 months to do clean up just like he just did in the right ear.  Not sure what her future holds with her left ear but it may be another year of decision making…  Only God knows so we will just take it day by day.  In this pic we are on our way to the hospital.  She was so brave!  She is getting much better about dealing with this stuff.  She has her moments for sure but she tries really hard to be a big girl.  She breaks down at the end when she knows they are about to take her from us and she does not like to take the pre-meds because she knows what they do to her and what is to come.  In fact, this time she spit about half of the pre-meds on the nurse.  She has never done anything like that and I was not happy with her.  She was just showing out!  I am sure I would show out to!  This was her 23rd surgery.  It NEVER gets easier for us…  She has recovered well.  She has not wanted to wear her cochlear since the surgery.  I think she was just extra sensitive and did not like the way it felt when it was on.  Today she has done much better with it so maybe we are back on track!

What now?  Thursday we will see Dr. Bauer for a follow-up on surgery. I am sure we will continue to see him frequently for a while.  We have a couple more weeks before we see audiology again and she will do more testing.  Hopefully this surgery did not change anything.  We did not have therapy this past week because of the surgery but should continue on with therapy this coming week.  She is becoming much more verbal.  Mostly just noise but she will attempt to say words when prompted.  For a long time she has said Ma for me.  Well, now she can say MOM!  I annoy everyone else in the house getting her to say it but I DO NOT CARE!  Major prayer request would be school.  The girls start on August 27th and Sallie will not let me out of her sight.  I guess all she has been through this summer and me being with her all the time has gotten her super attached to me.  We have to force her to do things with A which has never been an issue.  SO all of that to say, we anticipate the transition back to school to be a challenge.  Also, one of her main special ed teachers who she and we loved dearly resigned.  She would text us updates and pics of Sallie during school at least once a week.  She was wonderful to us.  In fact she even brought us dinner after Sallie had her implant.  Between this change, the changes with Sallie and her cochlear, the attachment she has to me and me to her as a result of our summer I can’t imagine the first day/week/maybe month of school!  I know, HE KNOWS…

Little Faith

I have never seen such dry land.  It is awful.  All the billboards read “Pray for Rain” and we do, A LOT.  But I think we often have little faith in the Lord sending us rain in His timing.  One day last week it rained for the first time in a long time.  The girls yelled “RAIN” and headed outside to “take a rain shower”.  As you can see, they were quite happy to see rain!  It was only 1/4 of an inch but we will take every drop!  By the way, yes they are in their pjs and I will admit it was 5:30 in the afternoon!  Some days are just like that!2 weeks ago we had VBS.  This was my first year directing and to say I was stressed would be an understatement!  I am thinking though that like Awana or anything else we do that once you have some experience under your belt it is always easier.  VBS is A LOT of work and I have a whole new appreciation for VBS Directors but we survived and better yet it went great.  That is after the first night when we had 25 more kids than we had planned for.  Me, of little faith only planned for about 10 more than last yrs average!  It is hard to plan for a number because you do not want to have way too much but it was a humbling experience for me to be reminded how big our God is and how He is in control no matter how much we think we are.  Of course we did have to run around gathering up more food and crafts and literature but it all worked out and we had a wonderful VBS! 

Speaking of little faith, I NEVER thought the day would come when my mama and daddy have a computer and the internet!!!  The day has come!  WE LOVE YALL PAPPA AND GRANDMAMA and are very proud yall have entered the world of technology! 

2 Birthdays in 2 Weeks!

On July 25th Lizzie turned 6!  I know we all say these things but she is really growing up so quickly it is unreal to me.  Everything went crazy with Sallie and her ears last September and this year has pretty much seemed like a blur to me.  I feel like I have “survived” through the past year and unfortunately not taken it all in…  I do realize how quickly they grow up and I do want to take in every minute with them and I do not feel like I have done that.  There have been so many decisions to make and a lot of stress and a lot of appts and surgeries and the list goes on.  Don’t get me wrong, it has been progress and I would do it all over again but I so long to balance and never neglect our other girls and I am not sure I have done very well at that this go around. 

The girls had originally wanted to have their party at the city pool this year but Sallie still can not get her ears wet so I talked to them and they were very understanding and opted to wait until next year for a water party.  They really do a wonderful job of understanding.  As always on their b-days they get to choose their food for the entire day.  Lizzie chose Pancakes for Bfast, Ramen Noodles for Lunch, and Steak, Shrimp, and Stuffed Mushrooms for dinner.  Ramen Noodles by day, steak and shrimp by night!  She is well rounded! 

Lizzie, this year you have become so independent (which is not always easy on mama!).  You are very eager to learn new things including scripture which makes me so happy.  You are high maintenance, bossy at times, extremely shy in a crowd, sensitive, helpful, a wonderful big sister, and in this year you have proven to be a great little sister too with your concern and help with Sallie.  As much as I do not like to see you grow up I am looking forward to seeing the young lady you become.  I love you SO MUCH and am thankful for you!  Are these two twins or what?  It really seems like yesterday Elleigh was 6Between their b-days we went to Grapevine for the day.  We went to Rainforest Café, Build A Bear for some new clothes for their bears, and shopping.  I think the highlight of Rainforest Café was the balloon animals!  Yeah!  They did enjoy it but probably not as much as I had hoped!Sallie had to have her picture taken too!  She really enjoyed our day and we were thankful for that because she has not gotten to enjoy much this summer.August 9th Millie turned 5!  Now this has really gotten me!  For the first time in 15 years we do not have a child under 5!  A told me I had to stop thinking like that!  It is sad.  I know some long for that day but not us! 

Millie’s requests were Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Eggs for bfast, Ramens for lunch, and grilled hot dogs for dinner.  Easy enough!  She and Lizzie are so different which I think helps them to get along most of the time!  They got pjs for their bears (actually Millie’s is a dog) and Lizzie got silky pjs with butterflies on them and Millie got Cars.  Notice Lizzie had Hello Kitty cake and Millie Angry Birds. 

Millie, Millie, where do I start?  You are very unpredictable!  You keep us laughing and we are blown away by the things you come up with most of the time!  You have been so eager to learn this year and you want to keep up with everything Lizzie learns.  You too are very sensitive.  You are the baby to your daddy and I as well as your sisters and you are perfectly fine with that.  You are so loving and affectionate and gentle at times yet full of energy and life!  We can’t imagine our family without our Mill Mill!

Praise God for giving us not just 1, or 2, or 3 GIRLS but 4! 

Elleigh’s Acteen Activator Trip 2012

I can’t believe it has been so long since I have blogged!  Dr’s appts, VBS, Birthdays, and all 4 girls being home every day are just a few of the things to blame!  So, I will begin with Ell’s mission trip (since I can’t seem to get her motivated to blog it) and hopefully do a couple more posts in the next few days to get caught up. 

She had a great trip!  She went to work with North America Mission Board Missionaries in Lynch, KY who run a food pantry there.  She also had the opportunity to serve in many different areas with them as well as in some different ministries in the area.

They had cool weather and lots of rain!One of the things she was able to do was help prepare lunch each day for Kid’s Camp at Club 180 which is a Youth Club in the area.Delivering meals to shut insThis was she and Melbie’s home for the week

On the Thursday night they were there the food pantry had their big food giveaway.  Here they are forming a line for that.  Someone preaches before they are allowed to go in.  They handed out 222 boxes of food that night.  She helped to prepare those boxes ahead of time.Love how you can see Ell through the glass here

This one is for Nanna and Grandy and Center Grove folks.  For the rest of you, this guy served as Youth Minister at Aaron’s Dad’s church when Ell was a baby and toddler.  He is now a Pastor at a church near Tuscaloosa, AL and his church was serving at a ministry there that gives clothing away.  It was their big back to school giveaway so churches were in helping them.  Elleigh and Rob were talking and he looked at her and said “who is your dad?” He then told her it was just like talking to Cameron Hall! 

At Club 180Delivering more meals

The highlight of her trip was working at the Freedom Center (which is the clothing ministry where she ran into Rob).  Each kid receives a new pair of tennis shoes during this particular week.  Before fitting them with new shoes the volunteers wash their feet.  Ell went the first day and she did not wash any feet.  She hates feet!  They just gross her out but she said that night after she left she knew she needed to go back and wash feet the next day and she did.  She said she prayed the whole time that she would not throw up!  I agree this would be out of my comfort zone too so I am glad she responded when led to do this and got out of her comfort zone.  Not easy!Love this…

Melbie and Ell with Lis which is the Missionary they were assigned to for the week

On the way to the airport with Lis and Fitz (Lis’ husband)

It was a great experience for her and I am thankful she got the opportunity.  Of course she has been to Africa twice but it was eye opening to see other types of needs and ministries in North America.  There is so much to be done, everywhere…