We have several pecan trees in our yard. Last year we were fooled. The trees were full but the shells were all empty. This year the trees are loaded and the shells hold delicious pecans. We have tons on the ground and tons more to come. Thankfully Lizzie and Millie think it is really fun to pick them up (and later eat them)!
A few pics I took of their pecan pickin
I realize this title could be very misleading! This girl keeps us moving-physically, emotionally, spiritually, just moving!
Leaving for Fort Worth early Monday morning for her 24th surgery. She has gotten REALLY good at picking up on all the signs that something is up so she began suspecting something on Sunday. We do not believe in lying to her even if it prevents some anxiety (for all of us!) So, if she suspects and asks then we tell her yes. We never want her to not be able to trust us so we never try to mislead her. Now that does not mean that we do not do many things for her to not suspect something too early because it is stressful on all of us but we tell her once she asks. In fact, her daddy hates when nurses say no ouchies today. He has even told them before that they were lying to her! Yes, he did! She just has to go through so much and we want her to trust us when we tell her what is going to happen to her. We are like that with all our girls. We don’t sugar coat. It is what it is and we feel life #1 we have to be honest with them and #2 it better prepares them for real life. ALL of that to say that she knew what was going on and she handled it really well. She is getting so much better with handling these things. She did ask a million times if it was her ears and was good with that. I guess she figures what can they do to my ears that they have not already done! 
Everything went well. He said the left ear had healed really well once he got everything out to be able to see. He told us that he felt better about implanting that ear than he had before. He got a few surprises in the right ear (implanted ear). He was planning to clean it while she was under anesthesia. Part of the muscle flap in that ear had resorbed (which means basically it has disappeared). This could be a major problem. However, she has a skin layer over the electrodes. Praise God! The electrodes can not be exposed which would be an issue with the muscle flap resorbing. Also, in a “normal” implanted ear with a middle ear the muscle flap not being there could cause that area to be pulled down and leave the electrodes dangling all of which would cause a trip back to surgery to try and get the electrodes back in place and/or covered. So, he is not overly concerned at this point about what is happening. Also, because of this happening with the muscle flap a pocket was created in the ear and we want NO pockets in her ear. A pocket is a great place for the tumors to grow and hide. So, he removed this pocket which created a good deal of bleeding. She has done great. She had some bleeding and some balance issues both of which did not last very long. GOD IS SOOOOOOOO GOOD!
What now? We have a follow up in 6 weeks with him to check everything from surgery. We have made the decision to move forward with the second implant. We feel this will give her the best hearing possible and most importantly we feel at peace that this is the right decision. We do not know when this will happen. Of course insurance first has to approve and it might take longer for them to approve the second implant. We just made the decision and called them yesterday to get everything moving. The scheduler at Dr. Bauer’s office told me she would have their insurance specialist get the request in yesterday. They have up to 8 weeks to respond. Once it is approved (trusting it will be in HIS time) we can then schedule a date. We are looking at Jan or March. That could change but right now that is what we are thinking. Of course there is a lot to coordinate with us and all the Dr’s so we will see. SO, looks like more moving! I would be lying if I said I did not dread it all because I do but I just have to keep reminding myself this is progress as hard and trying and tiring as it all is…
I really have no idea where the last 2 weeks have gone! It just hit me today that it has been 2 weeks since I blogged so I looked back at my pics to be reminded of what to catch up on!
Lately Lizzie has really been into cleaning. I had forgotten that they go through that stage where they think cleaning is fun! Fuzzy pic but the she is mopping! I’ll take it!
This week has been a little better for Millie with school too. She has cried some but not every day so that is some improvement! Make sure to check out her class blog at www.rozellkindergarten.blogspot.com Her teacher does an amazing job of keeping it current and posting all the highlights of their days. I love being able to see it! Cute story-you will see on her class blog awards that were given for the first 6 weeks and one of those is for the ones who knew their b-day. Well Millie knows her b-day but when they tested her she got it wrong. When I got the testing back I said, “Millie, I know you know your birthday” She said, “yeah I do but I told her my sister’s birthday, October 25th” She does not have a sister with a birthday on October 25th! I think she was thinking about Lizzie’s birthday. Whatever the case, why on earth would she do that? Millie, Millie! You never know! Another Millie story which is precious! She came home one day last week and told me that a girl on the playground said Sallie looked weird because part of her hair was one way and part another. I am not sure exactly what she meant but I think her cochlear had it messed up which it does sometimes and apparently Millie thought that to. Millie said, “I told her that was my sister and that was her cochlear and she could not hear without it!” She said, “then I went and told Mrs. Rozell” Hearing her say it was great! She had such a passion in her voice! To know that Millie who is so reserved at school would take up for her sister makes me smile (and cry…).
We had Lizzie’s parent-teacher conference last week and it went great. She is doing really well with her reading and seems to really excel in Math. Her teacher told us over and over how well behaved she is and that is always great to hear!
Sallie had A’s and B’s this 6 weeks and is doing great as well. She loves math also and is doing great with her counting! We have not had a formal meeting yet this yr and I am anxious for that to hear all that she is doing. We talk almost daily to her special ed teacher and she keeps us informed. Sallie is having major allergy/sinus issues and she just has not felt good at all for some time. We have an appt with an allergist on Nov. 5th so maybe soon she can get some relief. Tomorrow is her surgery so we appreciate your prayers. We are still in decision mode on the second implant. We are anxious to hear what he has to say tomorrow following surgery.
Elleigh is in full swing with FFA, speaking contests, one act play, UIL, debate team (I think she should be great for this!), etc. She seems to get more and more busy! She had A’s and B’s this past 6 weeks as well. We give her a hard time because she is a straight A student but she does not like to study so she usually gets A’s and B’s. I will say she studied much more than normal this past 6 weeks. She has a really tough schedule this year. They set it up that way so that by there Junior and Senior years their schedules are not as heard and they can begin taking some college classes. I digress from talking about her in college classes! She picked out her heifer last week. YES, I said heifer! Never thought those words would come from my mouth! Pics to come soon for sure!
I will try to not be so long between posts!
Saturday was Millie’s first ever soccer game. She has been so excited about soccer!
It was REALLY cold and windy and on top of that they played 2 games back to back. 2 hours was a little much!
HOW CUTE IS SHE???
Game time!
So, they won one game and they lost one game. It did not turn out to be as much fun as Millie had hoped. She got very nervous when they started playing. It being her first game she was not completely sure of what to do and she was really intimidated by all the kids “fighting” for the ball. It was a little much for her and the tears came (and came and came and came!). Hopefully once she gets used to it she will be fine and have a good time. HOPEFULLY! If we are going to spend our Saturday mornings playing soccer I DO want her to be having a good time!
We went back to Dr. Bauer (ENT) last Thursday. Sallie will be going back to surgery on Oct. 22nd. Obviously this is not what we wanted to hear but at the same time we were not surprised. He will be doing clean up in the left ear which is the last ear he did surgery on. As with the right ear he will have to get all that out so that it can heal properly. He will also do some more cleaning in the right ear which is her implanted ear. The procedure will be really quick so thankfully she will not have to be sedated for too long. Afterward the issues will be the same as always when they do something to both ears which includes nausea, dizziness, and equilibrium issues. Our biggest issue is her having to continue to be put to sleep over and over but there is no alternative so as I said in the last post, we will trust Him with the details.
Also we have more decisions to make... A year ago I would have never dreamed at this time Sallie would have a cochlear implant. Well 4 months ago when she was implanted I certainly never dreamed that just 4 months later we would be making a decision on a second implant. Because she has done so well with her first implant and because there is a high likelihood that Dr. Bauer will have to do more to the left ear and the more means that if he does that then that ear could not implanted in the future. Also if you implant the second ear it needs to be done no longer than 6 to 12 months from the first implant. The brain learns to hear with that first implanted ear and it will continue to do so even after the second implant if you wait longer than that time period. So all of that to say we are back in decision mode. What are the benefits? Localizing sound better and being able to hear better in noisy environments. Developing better speech is not a proven benefit. Why would we not? The concerns and cons are the same as with the first implant and added to that is the fact that the left ear is historically worse as far as the tumors go which creates more issues. Bottom line just as before we know God has a plan and we want to be in line with that plan. We want to put all the pros and cons aside and seek Him. We appreciate your prayers as we seek His will. Honestly we are very tired from all of this and it is a little overwhelming to think of what may be ahead. We know it is progress and are thankful for that progress but realistically we are worn out! Thank you for your prayers!
Last week we had an appointment with Sallie's cochlear audiologist (Dr. Bari). We started out with booth testing in which she responds to different sounds at different frequencies in the sound booth. I went in with her. I really can't begin to explain what that feels like. Aaron and I both have been in there with her many, many times over the past nearly 11 years and most of those times have been very disheartening. It is not a great feeling to have to put in earplugs to protect your own hearing and still be able to hear the extremely loud sounds and your child not respond. SO, I just sat there in AWE last week as she responded to a couple of sounds that neither I nor the audiologist inside the booth could hear! The audiologist outside the booth had to tell us that there was sound on a couple of higher frequencies which Sallie has never ever responded to, even when she was aided and receiving some benefit from the aids. It is amazing!!! What a journey this has been and continues to be! We have a LONG way yet to go but we are making steps which are bigger than ever before and our God has been and continues to be with us every step! HIS timing is beyond humbling for me! We are asked over and over why she was not implanted sooner which is a completely legitimate question for those who do not know all the details of her story and there are a lot of them. There are MANY reasons why but as we look back at all of them the bottom line is timing. God was in control of all the details. Had we implanted her sooner there is a high likelihood that we would have never known about the tumors that grow inside her ears and that they would have caused significant brain damage or death. I can completely say I trust HIM with the details. HE knows much better than us! Thank you Lord!
So as you can see from the graph (which is neat to compare with those in previous posts) she tested better than ever. However, as you can also see she tested better than she should. What? I NEVER thought I would hear the words "Sallie is hearing better than she should!" Looking at the graph you will see her responses marked with the letter R. She responded to some of the sounds at below 20 db. You will see that she has marked normal ci which is cochlear implant is 20 to 30 db. The issue is that if they are responding better than 20 to 30 there is a high likelihood that there is too much power going into the device so even though she may be responding that well there could be clarity issues. I admit this mama has a hard time with that. I get it. I completely understand it. I know our goal is clarity. But it was really nice to see her respond to those quieter sounds! In the end the audiologist turned her down around 10 percent overall. We will see how she does with that. I will say we were having issues when we first turned on each day. It really upset her to the point she would hold her head and crouch down and that is much better since the turn down.
Tomorrow we see Dr. Bauer and he will decide whether or not we head back to the OR to do clean-up on the left ear which is the ear she last had surgery on. Once again, trusting HIM with the details!
I REALLY need to be blogging more often. I forget so much when I get behind! I would love to report that I have been extremely productive around here during my blog break BUT that is not the case. I have been babysitting, going to FW (Dr’s appts of course-more on that soon!), taking girls to dance and soccer practice, etc… I guess that is productive but I need to be more productive!
Last Saturday I finally did something I have been wanting to do for a while. A couple of weeks ago I bought all the ingredients and they sat on my counter until Saturday and we finally “cooked” it up!
NOT your normal ingredients, huh???
AND next we made liquid laundry detergent. It was a little more difficult to make but not hard at all. There are recipes for powder detergent as well and I might try it next for comparison. This appears to be going to last me for a while. It made the 5 gallon bucket full and when I pour it into the container I use for dispensing I add 1/2 liquid and 1/2 water so it makes 10 gallons total. The Fels-Naptha bar was .98, Borax was just over $3, Washing Soda was around $3 also. I am anxious to see how long this lasts but no doubt once again that it is WAYYYYY cheaper! 
SO, I guess I have been a little productive!!!
AND because I know some grandparents who could care less about my soap and much more about their girls:
Posting pics of our girls IS PRODUCTIVE, right?!?
I feel like catching up is the theme of my life right now! Well maybe that has been the theme for quite some time but it really feels like it now. SO, since I am catching up in every way I will catch up on blogging!
School update: Elleigh, Sallie, and Lizzie are all still loving school. I am thrilled about that. I know there have been lots of prayers particularly for Sallie and we are very thankful for them and that this adjustment back to school has been great! It has taken some time for her to localize sound especially at school since there is so much noise but that has been a lot better the past week. She is doing really well in therapy as well. It is exciting!!! MILLIE, oh MILLIE… I would LOVE to report that she is doing better about school BUT she is worse. Last week was better. She whined some but did not cry. This week she began Sun. nt and has cried every night and morning since and I mean A LOT of crying. This morning was the worst it has been. She was crying and yelling “I want my mama” as A took her out the door to school. It is about to wear me out! I now am catching up from moping around thinking about my Mill Mill. I am thankful that she does not cry at school. She does not say but we assume she does not want them to see her cry because she stops each morning when they get to school. I have asked questions to make sure nothing is going on at school but she says, “I just want to be with you” I feel you sweet Mill! Tues Morning she has gotten dressed and had not started crying yet and I walked into our bedroom and she was sitting on the bed and I said, “what are you doing Mill?” Her reply, “Just sitting here being sad” Then came the tears! I admit, I laughed at that statement!
Bottom line she just wants to be at her house with her mama and her Build-a-Dog and her dump truck being silly!
This is just a random pic I had from a couple of weeks ago. We love our Saturday mornings when we have nothing to do. We relax some and cook and eat a late breakfast and just enjoy each other. A cooks and the girls help so this is what our kitchen looks like most Saturday mornings. Notice the cups: Lizzie drinks hot tea and the rest of us coffee. We only let them do this on Sat mornings and they think it is really special! Note: Ell sleeps until the breakfast is on the table!
SO SILLY! I pray that one day she will enjoy school and be able to be herself there! Of course, she has great behavior at school right now SO maybe she needs to stay a little more reserved!
Last week this sweet boy from our church occupied my time and thoughts! I babysat him 3 days last week. Sallie absolutely adores him so she would have been very upset to know he was at our house while she was in school!
Last week we kicked off our Awana program for the yr. It always feels great to get that first week done. It went incredibly smooth. Last nt was not as smooth but some weeks are just like that. There is always a lot to do to get things started and kinks worked out in the beginning so I have been busy with that but we had a great group of kids and lots of new faces! Praise God!
Friday nt on our way back from Wichita a cold front came through and this is a picture! That is dust! Most of the fields have been freshly plowed and you mix that with 50 mph winds and dry dirt and you get this! We could barely see the road.
And this is what the van and carport looked like the next morning! No wonder we can’t breathe!
Sometimes when I am pulling pics for the blog I run across some that I have forgotten. I have no idea when or who took this pic but I think it is sweet! Sallie has a hard time when Millie cries about school. It makes her cry… All Mill’s big sisters are broken hearted over our baby crying.
Lizzie and Millie started back to dance this week! All I have heard since they took the first yr is when can we go back to dance. Several of their friends took last yr in the next town and they all loved it so we decided to try it. They both can be so shy and even though we have church they need something else to bring them out of their shell a little and give them confidence in a group. They both LOVED it! They are in the same class. Lizzie could have gone into a higher class but this means I can take them together and there are several other girls Lizzie’s age in the class so it is good.
